To lead is to make decisions. And every decision a coach makes brings two reactions: gratitude and grumbling. That tension is the price of the chair.

The moment you sit in that seat, you become a symbol. People stop reacting to you and start reacting to what your role represents. Playing time. Standards. Culture. Expectations.

If you don’t understand that, you’ll take everything personally. If you do understand it, you’ll lead with confidence.

It’s the Chair, Not You

Parents, players, fans, assistants. Everyone filters your decisions through their own hopes and fears. They’re not attacking you the person. They’re responding to the position you hold.

Don't forget, you chose the chair. You chose the responsibility that comes with it. You chose the visibility that invites critique.

How to Handle Criticism

Strong leadership remains teachable even under heat.

Here is how to handle hard conversations:

• Believe and listen. There is always a grain of truth. Find it.
• Apologize when appropriate. Humility disarms hostility.
• Thank them for speaking up. People calm down when they feel heard.
• Affirm their feelings. Validation is not agreement. It is leadership maturity.
• Avoid defensiveness. The moment you justify everything, you lose influence.
• Seek understanding first. You don’t need to win the moment to win the person.

Decisions Invite Darts

Decisions create disagreement. That is not an attack on your identity. It is a reaction to your decisions. Find the grain of truth and move on.

You chose the pressure, the opinions, and the scrutiny.

Don’t flinch. Don’t fold. It’s not personal. It’s positional.

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