It’s an uncomfortable truth, but an important one.

Players aren’t as special to coaches as coaches are to players.

That doesn’t mean coaches don’t care. Most do. Deeply. But the weight of the relationship is rarely equal, and that imbalance matters more than we realize.

The Relationship Is Never Equal

Coaches move through careers filled with rosters. Seasons blur. Jerseys change. Time passes.

Players don’t experience coaching that way.

A player may only have a handful of coaches who truly shape them:

• one varsity coach
• one position coach
• one assistant who believed in them when no one else did

What feels routine to a coach can become defining to a player.

Small Moments Become Long Memories

A comment said in frustration. A tone of voice. A look after a mistake.

For a coach, it may be a fleeting moment in a long day.

For a player, it can become a story they carry - I’m not good enough. Coach doesn’t believe in me. I don’t belong here.

Coaches often forget these moments. Players rarely do.

This Isn’t About Guilt

This isn’t a call to coach scared or be soft. And it’s not about inflating your own importance.

It’s about recognizing responsibility and understanding that words can land heavier than intended. What a coach says often carries more weight than we realize.

Great Coaches Steward the Imbalance

The best coaches understand the asymmetry.

They’re intentional with feedback. Clear with standards. Consistent with behavior.

They know that while a player may be one of many in a career, a coach may be one of few in a life.

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