One of the greatest gifts a coach can give their players isn’t a new play, a motivational speech, or even a win. It’s the gift of going second.

What Does It Mean to “Go Second”?

When a coach is open, vulnerable, and authentic, they create space for others to do the same. By sharing first—whether it’s about struggles, mistakes, or lessons learned—you make it safe for your players to step into honesty themselves.

Going second means your players don’t have to be the first ones to risk vulnerability. You’ve already modeled it for them.

Why It Matters

Authenticity builds trust. Teams thrive when players know their coach is real and approachable.

Vulnerability builds connection. A player who feels seen and understood will lean in, listen, and grow.

Safety unlocks growth. When honesty is welcomed, players are more likely to share their doubts, ask questions, and push through challenges.

A Practical Example

Imagine starting a team meeting by sharing a moment when you failed, how it felt, and what you learned. Instead of lecturing your athletes to “open up,” you’ve gone first. Suddenly, your players don’t feel alone in their struggles—and they’re far more willing to speak honestly.

The Ripple Effect

When coaches model vulnerability, it doesn’t stop with their players. It ripples into the culture of the team:

• Teammates encourage each other.
• Leaders emerge more naturally.
• The locker room becomes a place of safety, not fear.

Closing Thought

As coaches, our influence goes beyond drills and game plans. By giving players the gift of going second, we’re not just building athletes—we’re building people who understand the power of authenticity and connection.

The truth is simple: when you share honestly, you make it safe for others to do the same.

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